Alarm goes off at 5:30 I look around and everyone is sound asleep…finally. The baby was up just an hour ago and one of the boys had to pee at 3. I could hit the snooze and get a few more minutes a sleep before the day begins but service starts at 9. I lay in silence for another fifteen minutes before the baby starts stirring. Better get going before she wakes if not I will not get a hot shower.
Hop in the shower for what I like to now call the works. Hair (shampoo and conditioned), legs and underarms shaved, lathered from head to toe while standing and just letting the water fall down my back. The kids are still asleep so I can enjoy a few minutes without an audience of little eyes watching me. Good Lord knows this may be the only full shower I get all week having five kiddos under 6, you moms with young kids understand. Jump out of the shower to the sounds of two of our boys laughing. Hurry to throw on my Sunday best to get to my room to see what the fuss is all about. JR and Eli are now wide awake playing cars in our bed, baby Sadie is babbling in her crib and my hubby is still fast asleep. Wrangle the boys down the stairs while carrying baby girl to start breakfast and get the day going. Time 6:32.
Once downstairs pull ups and diapers are changed, the refrigerator is raided, and we finally decided on yogurt and Coco puffs to eat with milk to drink. I place the baby in her bouncer go upstairs to find our six year old in the bathroom “chillin” I have her go downstairs while I pick out their clothes for the day. I should have done this last night but I didn’t. Next week I will remember to….. or so I tell myself. Politely tell my husband it’s 7 time to get up and go to break up the first fight of the morning (she’s been up less than 3 minutes it’s going to be a long day)
I get Elissa’s breakfeast ready, she only wants pop tarts this morning with juice, and go start getting the other children ready. Start with baby girl by placing her in a rainbow dress and pulling up what hair she has in a “ponytail” on top of her head. Start dressing Eli and hear JR and Elissa’s at it again, this time he looked at her wrong.😣 Go back upstairs to not so politely tell my husband “its 7:30 get up already” and go back downstairs. Finish getting Eli dress tell him to sit on the couch and not move. Go throw a load of laundry in the washer and a load of dishes in the dishwasher. Elissa decides the best time for her to “use to bathroom” is while I am trying to put on my makeup so I don’t look like someone off the cast of the Walking Dead. She poo’s and tells me why she’s NOT wearing the dress I picked out all while I try not to vomit from the oder that now consumes the bathroom.
Hubby walks down around 8:15 clean shaved and handsome in his dress shirt and sits on the couch and starts getting shoes on two of our three boys. Fight three happen as I give Elissa the dress she is wearing and tell her “wear it or wear nothing” I am then nominated for “worst mom ever” as she graps the dress to put it on.
JR ready check, Eli ready check, Sadie ready check, Elissa ready…..check, Alex where’s Alex?? Back up the stairs hubby and I go to find Alex fast asleep in his bed, time 8:35. Pick him up carry him downstairs, stand in by the potty and start dressing him while “He goes” He is sleepy does not want anything to eat so shoes go on and out the door we go. 8:45
Load up the car to the sounds of Alex crying because Eli found a peice of candy (Smarties) in Alex’s set which should have given Alex clam to it. Quickly I run back into the house to get Smarties for everyone so we are not screaming as we pull into the church.
Arrive at church at 8:54 all kids in tow. I take baby Sadie in one arm, Eli in the other and Elissa holds my dress while Todd has JR and Alex who refuses to walk, he is still mad over the candy issue.
Walk into the church and we check the kids in their classes. Sadie is easy to drop off. The nursery worker smiles and says , “We are so happy to see you again Sadie” she checks her diaper bag in and we are off to the next rooms. Alex and Eli go in without a fight, shocking I know the tears have mysteriously disappeared, Elissa never looks back as she runs to show off her “beautiful new dress” smh I will never understand her lol. Next is JR. We walk in and it’s a new teacher…crap. JR does not like change. He screams and throws Thomas the train across the table. I look at Todd and tell him to go on without me. The teacher and I talk, she tries to get to know JR but he is having no part of her. Looks like I will be setting in with him today. Then Ms Bethany comes by, JR smiles he likes her. She was just dropping off some other kids before she went to her class (the volunteers rotate rooms) The teacher goes over and asks who will be with her today and Bethany over hears. She asks the other volunteer to trade places with her and she comes in and JR smiles. She tells me she has him and says “Go enjoy service”
I get up to leave and he screams, tears rolling down his face. I go to pick him up and she says, “its ok I got him just go it will be fine” I walk out as he screams “Mommy no go, mommy no love JR” I walk but tears are now rolling down my face. Autism is hard no matter what day it is. I wipe off my face and head into service time 9:12. Good I haven’t missed all the music yet. The music is playing people are worshipping and I see my husband. I quickly take my place by his side and we stand. I see the words on the board and hear the music play, but my mind is racing a thousand miles a minute. “Will he be ok?” “Did I leave her my number incase he needs me?” “Why did I wear this dress its so hot in here” “I should have pulled my hair up I’m burning up” and of course “Now two of my kids think I’m the worst mom of the year and it’s not even 10am.” I know I should have been more focused on the service, after all its the one hour my husband and I get to spend with each other worshipping our Lord, but I was exhausted. Todd reaches for my hand and gives me that “it will be ok” look . I try not to stare at my phone the whole time but I worry. I have an hour and 13 minutes before I pick the kids up, well that’s if I don’t recieve at text.
The pastor comes out and starts the message for the today “Fear and Faith” how appropriate. I try to listen but I can’t and then I feel my phone vibrate. JR is having a meltdown I thought. But to my surprise I recieve a picture. It’s JR playing with his cars at the table with a simple message said, “Mom he is doing fine” I smile and sigh. He is fine, didn’t expect that message today. I relax and hold Todds hand a little tighter. The message was great and exactly what I needed to hear. A little after 10 my phone vibrates again. My heart tightens and I am afraid to look. This time it’s a picture of JR with his hands held high in praise. His smile speaks volumes. All the chaos and the aggravation of the morning disappears. God is good. Really good.
I have so many fears about our new journey. New state, new faces, new schools, new drs, the list goes on and on. But today I was reminded that even though everything is new here one thing remains the same…God. He has always been with us and will continue to be will us no matter if we are in WV or Tennessee. He will protect us from the things we fear and if life throws new fears in our path He will be there to hold our hand all the way through the storm. Our God is that good.
After service we loaded up and came home for lunch. The kids will fight against I am sure and they will be upset with me about something else before the day is over. And that’s all ok. Everything will be alright. As the pastor said this morning “It is ok to be afraid or fearful as long as we walk in faith and trust in God”
From our beautiful chaos to yours enjoy the day God has given us. Turn your fears and frustrations over to Him and walk in faith.