Have you ever had one of those days were nothing seems to be going your way? Maybe it’s not even a day,maybe you’ve had a week or a month maybe even a year where everything just seems to be going in a different direction than you expected. Days like this drain the life out of me. And if momma is down the whole house falls apart. That’s not a good thing for a family the size of ours. And lately I have had more of these type of days than I care to admit.
Maybe it’s just the move. Or maybe it’s missing my big Kids and all my family back home.. well back in WV. Or the whole situation with our six year old but I have been so drained. So tired. I have never felt so alone in my life. I am exhausted. Momma said there would be days like this.
One thing I remember most about my childhood is that my mother and both grandmother’s always sang old church hymns while doing dishes. They are some of my favorite memories. And on one particular evening, I was about 12 or 13, while my mom stood there washing our supper dishes she said to herself “Momma said there would be days like this” as she wiped a tear away from her cheek. She never saw me as I grabbed the chips of the container. But I saw her and the pain in her eyes. The next morning she woke my brother and I up for school as normal and went to work. Nothing was ever said. I still to this day have no idea what was going on that night. We were not a wealthy family and my brother and I may not have had everything we wanted but my parents made sure we had everything we needed.They always made sure of that. I am forever grateful for that. That night through whatever pain she was going through whatever trouble she was dealing with whatever life was throwing at her my mom kept going. That night she showed me what it takes to me not just a good mom but a great mom. That’s the life lesson.
On those days I feel I can’t do it anymore, I just keep going because I am mom now. I am the caregiver, I am the protector, the one for fights for my kids, the one who loves my kids when they have done great things and the not so great things. I am the one who is up at 1 a.m. to feed the crying baby and again at 2 a.m. to take the toddler to the potty. I am the one that calls just to say hi because I worry about them being so far away at college. I am a helicopter as my older kids playfully call me because it’s my job to make sure they become responsible and respectable young adults. There are days I run on less than an hour of sleep and that’s OK. Far to soon this house will be empty and sleep will be all I have left to do. Yes I complain about the loads of laundry that seem endless and the toys all over the floor, but I know I will miss it all once it’s gone. I keep going because I love my kids more than life it’s self. And on those days I feel I can’t go on I find myself in an old familiar spot. My safe haven. I stand in front of my kitchen sink. The TV and radio turned off. The kids can be heard playing in the background. I close my eyes as the old hymns start running through my mind. “What a Day That Will Be” ,”I’ll Fly Alway”,”How Great Though Art”, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”, “I’ve got a Mansion”,”Precious Memories”, “Sweet Sweet Spirit” the list goes on and on. I step back in time to where things were simpler and life was not as crazy. So thankful I have such Godly women in my life that gave me a love for hymns and set such a good example of what a mom is suppose to be like. They also showed me that when life gets to overwhelming it’s ok to cry out to God through prayer and through song and hand our worries over to Him. Momma said there would be days like this and that’s OK. We have a God who knows our situation and He is ready to help. All we have to do is hand it over to Him.
For our beautiful chaos to yours Momma said there would be days like this….what you do with them is up to you