Just Hold Me

This past week has been crazy.  Not one but four of our Littles had the stomach bug…ugh.   I have been puked on and pooped on more than I care to admit.  And to make things worse my husband was working 14 hour shifts.  It was a long week for all of us.

I hate when any of my kids are sick.  I try my best to be super mom but with that may sick at once it’s hard to do. I make sure they stay hydrated, make sure they get their medicine on time, read them their favorite stories, you know all the typical mom stuff. Sometimes I wish I had more hands.  By far their favorite (and mine) is the cuddle time.  That time when they climb up on my lap and I kiss their forhead and we just sit and rock. They love it when I sing them songs and hug them tight. In that moment that mommy kiss fixes everything from fevers to boo-boo’s. They feel better just by being in mommy’s arms.  Most of our Littles have out grown me rocking them to sleep, but when they feel bad that’s the first thing they want…and I’m okay with that. 

Over the weekend three of my little loves started feeling better. Baby girl however  is still feeling blah this morning. She’s not running a fever or throwing up anymore (thank goodness) but she just isn’t feeling back to normal yet. With all the kids sick last week my house was in need of some tlc this morning.  After I got two off to school and feed the other three their breakfast I started working on the mess.  Laundry in the washer, dishes in the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floors and then I started working on the kitchen.  Baby girl came walking in.  She looked up at me and started whimpering.  I made her a sippy cup of her favorite juice and handed it to her.  She took one drink and threw it down the hallway and started to cry.  I looked over at her and asked what was wrong, she of course could not answer being that she is only one.  I asked her if she wanted snacks, or if she wanted a bottle instead.  Nothing seemed to make her happy.  She started crying even harder. And in that moment in her eyes I could see what she was saying “Mommy just hold me”  I stopped what I was doing and picked her up, she immediately laid her head down on my shoulder and sighed really loud. We sat in the middle of my kitchen floor for over 30 minutes.  We rocked and I sang to her. She snuggled and and held on tight.  All she needed was for her mom to hold her and all her “feel bads” left.   House work will just have to wait another day.  Baby girl needs her mommy.

As I was holding her in that moment I could not help but think “I’ve been exactly where she is”  There have been  days I just could not find the strength to go one step further. Last week, for example, was one of those times. In the mist of all the sick kids and the husband out of town all I wanted to do was stand there and cry and have someone hold me.  And you know what? I got just that.  Just as baby girl cried out to me, I cried out to Jesus. I told him I was tired, that I was struggling, that I missed been around my family, and that I just needed to be held.  He answered, He always answers.  Just as I held baby girl and told her I was here for her, the peace of Jesus came over me.  I know I am never alone for He is always with me.  As I heard her cries, Jesus hears my cries. He sees my struggles, He knows what I am going through, He knows where my heart is, He knows my weakness and knows my failures and He Loves me anyway. And just as I stopped everything to hold my baby girl, Jesus took time to let me know He was still holding on to me. Thank you Jesus. As I stood there with tears running down my face on the radio the song “Just Breathe” came on and I knew God was telling me to calm down that He has everything under control even if I can’t see it.  

I am thankful for our little sit down in the kitchen floor this morning. It was a good reminder that just as parents hold their kids when they need it most, so does our heavenly Father. We may not be able to crawl upon His lap but His loving arms are always around us. Holding us, protecting us, and letting us know we will be okay for He will always be with us.  How beautifully amazing is that.
From our beautiful chaos to yours it’s important to take time to hold one another.  Some days we just need a hug to let us know we are not alone.

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