The 2016 holiday season has come to an end. All the presents have been opened, all the cookies have been eaten, and all the grandparents have went back home. My husband is back to his normal work schedule and the two oldest little loves are heading back to school. Bring on 2017
The last day of school before break I was able to attend both diva’s Christmas party and wild man’s. At his party I was greeted by his team of teachers. His team includes his primary teacher, his OT, his speech, his personal aid, his regular kindergarten teacher, and two (of the eight) classmates. The teachers praised him for how far he has come and how great he is doing. He laughed and interacted with his two classmates and called them his buddies. He showed me his library corner, the calming room, his desk and where his “girlfriend” sets. It was a breath of fresh air seeing him happy and enjoying his surroundings. Here he was excepted and loved just as he is. No one judged his autism or sensory issues, here he was just wild man, kind, loveable, funny wild man. The child I see daily but others do not. It was a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. I left feeling that our move placed him in the best environment for him to get the education he deserves. I get in my car and drive to diva’s school. I walk in and the teacher looks up and smiles. “She’s not having a good day” I half smile back and say “Sorry” I make it over to my assigned station, the Santa handprint ornament area, and quickly start helping the little ones trace their hands and decorate their ornaments. I am greeted by a few mom’s and some of the class as we get the party started. One of the little girls asked ” So whos mommy are you?” I answer “I’m Elissa’s mom who might you be?” She gave me her name and then the questions started. “Why does she never listen to the teacher?” “Why is she ALWAYS is trouble?” “Why does she act like a baby?” “Why does she walk around the classroom and not stay in her sit?” ” Why is she such a brat?” “Do you let her act that way at home?” “No one likes she because she’s so mean” The questions and comments poured out of this little seven year olds mouth and all eyes were on me. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.
One of the moms tried to help and said ” Well I’m sure its not that bad” but the little girl insisted that it was and she’s right. Diva is struggling in school with her behavior. The teacher and I have tried everything we know to do and its just not working. We started taking her to see a therapist, even though members of our family disagreed with us. (You can read about that in an earlier post) We received a diagnosis (more than one actually she has ADD,ADHD, RAD(reactive attachment disorder) and FASD(fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) and agreed treatment was necessary. If only her birth mother knew what she was doing to her child I wonder if she would have changed her actions? I guess we will never know. And as her forever mom its up to me to clean up the mess birth mom made.
So over Christmas break we did just that. We went back to the doctor and received her first medication. For two weeks she was to take half a pill in the mornings and then at the end the two weeks she would take half a pill in the morning and half a pill in the afternoon. Within two days we noticed a much more calm and focused diva, that is until everyone showed up for Christmas. There was way to much excitement with all the grandparents and older siblings down to celebrate for any of the little loves to be wonderfully behaved. She was overloaded and wild mans sensory issues were all over the place, but we made the best of it.
I did not send a note to the teacher to tell her she had started her medication. I thought I would wait and see if there was a difference at school before I said anything. When I picked her up from school she told me she had a “Green Day” For those that do not know our school system has a color code for behavior. The color code goes Green = good/great day, Yellow= think about it, Orange= warning make better choices, and Black= uh oh not a good day at all. All of November and December she had been on Orange or Black days, everyday. Yesterday she had stayed on green and she was proud of herself. The teacher wrote a note saying she had done well and followed directions but did notice she was sleepy and wanted me to know. Sleepy over destructive, I will work with that. The doctor said the medicine could make her sleepy, so that may have been what was going on. It could have been she had not really done anything for two weeks so just being at school on a routine made her tired. We will wait and see. She came home completed her homework ate dinner and went to bed. This morning she was a all over the place with her emotions. She was mad because she could not wear her Sketchers to school today (she has dance on Wednesdays so she has certain shoes she wears), she didn’t want to brush her hair so I had to, which lead to her screaming and crying out that I was trying to kill her. She was sad because her dad would not let her take her shopkins to school, then mad at me because she knew I had told him to tell her no. She was making comments like ” I’m not a good girl because I can’t follow the rules” and “I never listen why do you like me?” Then as she walked out the door she was happy because she got to go to dance and see her friends today. Typical morning in our house.
There are days I want to find their birth mom and just scream at her. The choices she made has effected my children more than she will ever know. Wild man struggles daily with his sensory processing disorder and autism, Diva has deep emotional scares I may never fully understand, and the three youngest ones have not been diagnosed with anything but I see similar traits in them only time will time. Some days I question why God felt I was strong enough to handle this load, while other days(most days) I feel blessed beyond measure that He chose me to be their forever momma. Lord give me patience, give me strength, guide me, help me fight for what is right, help me protect my children from this evil world, and use me to make the world a better place for my kids.
From our beautiful chaos to yours we will all get through this thing called life one day at a time with one foot in front of the other. Have faith. God allows the storms in our lives to water the seeds of faith in us.