“Adoption is a beautiful thing”, I have heard this phrase time and time again, from people who have never adopted. And while they are correct adoption is beautiful, it is so much more than that.
Its easy to say things like that or ” I am so proud of you for doing what you do” or “I don’t know if I could love someone else’s child as my own kudos to you” But what we really need are people willing to take a stand and open their hearts and homes to children in need.
When I was younger I knew I wanted a large family. But do to circumstances out of my control, I was only able to have two children. Now, I know there are people out there that want children and can not have them so I am very thankful God saw fit to bless me with my two oldest. Being their mom has brought me so much joy. I accepted the fact I was unable to have more children and moved on, raising them as best that I could. However shortly after I married my second husband I started thinking about the sounds of little feet again and it made my heart sad. He had never been married and never had children. He was a natural father to my two ( at that time a preteen and teen) but I could not help but feel bad that he would never experience the joys (yes joys) of 2am feedings, the smell of a newborn, the sound of a babies laugh, and the countless other things that make parenting a blessing. So we prayed about it, I knew we could not have a child the “old fashion way”but there where other avenues we could pursue. That’s when we found out about adoption through foster care.
Straight adoption can be extremely expensive. And while we wanted a child we wanted to be able to afford things after the adoption was final. Sounds crazy I know but the average adoption can cost over $45,000 dollars. Adoption through foster care normally costs nothing but filling fees (depending on your state anywhere between $200 and $400) the state covers the rest. I called our local DHHR and inquired about being foster to adopt parents. By far one of the best life changing calls I have ever made. Fostering opened up our eyes and hearts to a world, many do not fulling understand. Not all the children in foster care are there because of that they did, in fact most are placed in state care because of things their parents did. The system can be challenging to deal with but the outcome is so worth it. Dealing with court dates, parent improvement periods, and visitation plans can be aggravating but helping a child overcome the most stressful time in their young life is worth all of it. Over the past six years we were Momma C and Daddy T to over 20 children. It is hard to fall in love with a child to only have that child reunified with their birth parents or to be placed in another adoptive home if they do not blend well with your family, but then there are times that you get to say “Yes we want to be their forever family” And thanks to God we have been able to say this three separate times allowing us to adopt our five little ones, four of which are half siblings. They would not be together if we had not followed our hearts and adopted them. God made a way for us to have our large family.
We have been blessed to make wonderful new friends with other foster to adopt parents. So many children finding their forever families all because someone thought they were worth it. Children in foster care are not any different than children who are not in care. They still want someone to love them, to make them feel safe, to feed them, to play ball with them, and to play dress up with them. Yes many have been through some terrible things but deep down they just want to be a child loved by someone. I do feel bad for the birth parents, however if you have been given chance after chance to get off the drugs, or to take anger management classes or whatever the reason was that the child was taken away and still can’t manage to do it then the child deserves a family that can provide a good life for them.
Today a dear friends of mine will be adopting be adopting their little girl. And I could not be happier for them. This past summer was filled with friends and family adopting little ones, my heart was overwhelmed with excitement was our extended family grow in size through the process of adoption.
So yes adoption is a beautiful thing. Adoption is overwhelming love. Adoption is everything to a child in need. Adoption made our family complete. Is adoption the answer for you? Pray about it, think about, ask questions about it. Adoption is a blessing.