Ten years ago I was in a dark dangerous place. I was depressed, hurt, scared,and trapped in an abusive loveless marriage. I was alone. The few friends that did know what was going on turned out not to be my friends at all when I finally found the courage to take my children and get out. 11 years was enough. I could not physically or emotionally take it anymore and my kids were getting old enough to see what was going on. I did not know how we would make it I just knew if I stayed I would not survive. So with my two kids in my arms and faith in my heart I left the only life I had known.
I was not sure God would give me a second chance at being happy let alone falling in love. I was not a bad person but I had not always been a saint either. There are things in my past I wish I could change but what’s done is done. I have asked for forgiveness and I truly believe God has forgiven me. I try each day to be a better person than I was yesterday hoping to make the world a better place for at least one person. But I’m human and still did not feel I was worthy enough to be loved again. That’s when God sent Todd into my life.
I don’t talk about him much on here. He is a pretty private person. However yesterday we celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. That completely blows my mind. How did I go from unloved and broken 10 years ago to getting married to the love of my life 8 years ago? I’ll tell you, it was Gods plan. I’m not saying God planned on me being abused and getting a divorce. I’m saying He took the darkest point in my life and found away to shine His love through.
Todd came back into my life when I needed someone to show me love, compassion, understanding, and friendship. He finds the good in me when I don’t see it. He makes me laugh and makes me feel safe. He is more than just a husband. He is a terrific father to all of our kids, my two older ones and the five we have adopted. In his eyes they are all his kids he does not show favoritism. He loves them all and cares for them as only a father can. He taught our oldest two how to drive, cried as our oldest daughter graduated college, cheered as our oldest son played his sax at band competitions, he has changed his fair share of diapers and made more midnight bottles than most men I can guarantee. He works crazy hours to provide for us and always makes sure we have what we need. He has stood by my side when friends and family questioned us about becoming foster parents, about adopting one more child, and about moving 300 miles away from everyone. He has my back always and supports me in everything. I am so thankful God crossed our paths again.
We don’t do many gifts for each other, our focus is always on the kids but this year he has surprised me on a few occasions. He knows the move was hard on me, I had lived in a 15 mile radius my whole life, moving out of state after 40 years was scary. He has went out of his way to show me how much he appreciates me this year with little things. Things I never expected but will forever treasure. I am truly blessed to be his wife.
The point of this sappy blog is this. We all deserve happiness, we all deserve our happy ever after. God is a God of second, third, tenth, and twenty chances. He loves us so much that even in our darkest points He is working on a better brighter life for us. Don’t lose faith. You may not see Gods plan for your life, I know I didn’t, but it’s there waiting for you. I am happier now than I’ve ever been. I know now what true love really is. I am now stronger, wiser, and beyond blessed. You can be too. Just let go take that first step and trust that He will guide you through the storm and over whatever mountain you face.