Reading, writing, and arithmetic. All skills we need if we want to be successful adults. But what happens if learning these life skills does not come easy? What happens if one simply can’t learn these things. What happens when professionals tell you, your son is autistic don’t worry about those things just stick to the basics like eating and brushing his teeth.
What would have happened if I had listened to them?
From the moment the caseworker placed him in my arms I knew he was special. Over the next two plus years we cared for him, loved him while he was in foster care. In my heart I knew God had big plans for him. At the age of two and a half he become forever ours when we were able to adopt him and I was thrilled to know that I would now get to see those plans unfold. At the age of three he was diagnosed with autism and I thought all of those big plans would be forever lost. My world came crashing down. What were we to do now?
The thing about getting the diagnosis is it makes what you already know real. You may not want to admit it but deep down you know something is wrong. We knew something was different, we knew he was not meeting milestones like his peers, and we knew some of the things he did were odd. But the day we received the diagnosis our normal world stopped. It was hard to hear it from someone else.
We could have thrown up our hands and accepted what people were saying. He may never be able to talk, He may never be able to eat on his own, He may never do this or that. The list of “he may never’s” was endless. But the thing is, I could not look at this little boy, my little boy God had placed in my care, and say you will never. I could not give up or give in to the diagnosis. After all it was only one part of our special little man, it did not define who he was or who he was meant to be.
We live in an area where specialized therapist and services are very limited. Even now in order for him to receive ABA therapy we will have to drive over an hour each way to get him there (he is still waiting on a wait list for these services) That being said he has been blessed to have wonderful people helping him from the beginning. People who did not give up. People who believed he could rather than he could not. His Birth to Three team (early intervention) was absolutely amazing. His OT, Speech, and music therapists opened up doors we never thought possible. His teachers, preschool up through his current second grade teacher have worked with him and have helped him find his own way of learning.
So how do we go from learning basic things to helping him learn things such as math? We work with what he loves. And he LOVES NASCAR.
I think it’s the repetition of the cars going round and round the track, or it could be the big crashes. I don’t know what it is, but I do know NASCAR has helped him learn how to do math. At first we would show him a car and talk about the driver and number while he lined them up and down the hallway. Then he started counting them. He would go 1, 2, 3. 1,2,3 over and over. As his lines of cars got longer so did his ability to count. Now that he is a little older he will line them up in numerical order.
The last few weeks he has been working on simple addition and subtraction at school. So to help him we use the cars and do math problems. For example we can ask him, What is 4 minus 3? He will take the Kevin Harvick car (#4) and subtract an Austin Dillon car (#3) and end up with a Jamie McMurray car (#1), 4-3=1. Math made easier with NASCAR who would have thought? (I know these are last years names and numbers. He does not have the 2019 cars yet shhhh don’t tell him)
My point is never give up. We will never give up. We look for things that spark his interest and use them to help teach him. If we would have given up like so many people told us to his life would be so much different today. Yes autism is hard. Yes there are days I wish he didn’t have the struggles he has because of it. But his life is not less because of autism. His life is full of giggles and smiles, hugs and high fives. And thanks to NASCAR (and his teacher’s throughout his years) he now has a love for math.
So Thank you all who have crossed our path that never giving up on him. And Thank you NASCAR for opening up doors we never thought possible.
Be sure to check my book Beautiful Chaos Our Story about Foster Care, Adoption, Faith and Love on Amazon.