Last night as I was feeding my baby girl I could not help but think of my oldest daughter when she was younger. As baby girl sat in her high chair discovering her new found favorite food (spaghetti) she was all smiles. The spaghetti was covering everything from her face to her shirt. She was a hot mess but she was loving it and so was I. When did I become that mom?
When my oldest was her age that never would have happened. She was my first child and I was young (19) and in my mind I had to prove I could be a great mom to all those that judged me. Her hair was always in place and never would I have let her play with her food making such mess, after all no respectable mother would do that. If she did happen to get food on her face and hands she was quickly cleaned up and her clothes changed. So why am I not that mom now?
I will tell you why. Now I know that these moments will pass by all to quickly. It seems like only yesterday I was bringing our oldest home from the hospital when in fact she is now 21 and a senior in college. Life goes by so fast we need to enjoy the little things and that includes dirty spaghetti faces. No one ever said life would be prefect or that it would not get messy. It’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows some days are going to be stormy and messy. But that’s OK it’s part of life. I was a good mom then and I’m a good mom now, I’m just different.
One thing that annoys me about social media sites such as Facebook is all the fake illusions. If you take time to look at other people’s pages you will see that “life is alway prefect” Meaning that every photo they post their kids are posed perfectly, their jobs are going great, they love their spouse, their kids love each other more than anything, ect. It’s enough to make some of us feel less than adequate. I mean most days I’m over here cleaning dirt of of my son’s face, wanting to kill my husband for working over for the third night this week, cleaning up bathrooms where my sons have “tried” to hit the toilet, dealing with my daughter who wants to argue her point on why the sky should be purple instead of blue, and breaking up the latest of the sibling fist fights. My life is far from perfect and seeing others lives so grand did at one time make me feel like a failure. Don’t get me wrong I have been known to post the ever so sappy “I love my husband more than anything” post but I also show the not so get moments of life. Like when one of my potty training three year olds told me he “had went number 2” all by himself and I got excited ran to the bathroom only to find his “gift” in my hallway floor. Why? Because my life is not perfect. I don’t want other struggling moms to think they are alone. Like I use to after reading my timeline. We are all moms (and dads) trying our best. I don’t understand why we compare our situation with others but we do we always do. I don’t want others to to see a fake me. What they see if what they get. Twenty years ago I worried how others seen me and how they thought I was doing as a mom. Now I don’t care. I know I’m a good mom. And thanks to my older two children I know that I will miss cleaning up dirty faces and messy handprints off the walls all to soon. Thank you Sie and Bub. Thank you.
I am blessed God gave me a second chance to enjoy all the little things being a mom means. I am more relaxed with my parenting style this go around (maybe because I am seriously out numbered lol). I love seeing my kids be kids. Jumping in mud holes, food on their faces, and dirt on their hands. They are enjoying their lives and that makes me happy. Our family photos do not have us all looking at the camera with big smiles instead my beautiful chaos is well…. chaos. Kids are running around, someone is always crying, and the only person looking at the camera is normally me. That to me is prefect.
At church last Sunday our pastor talked about Faith and how our plan is not always God’s plan. We may have our life planned out stage by stage but if it’s not part of God’s plan for us it will not workout the way we think it should. I never planned on being a mom to seven kids but God did. I never planned on having kids so far apart in age but God did. I never planned on adopting five little loves or moving out of state but God did. His plan for us is so much more than we could ever plan for ourselves. We must have faith and follow Him even if it seems life will get a little messy in our eyes. He does not promise us sunshine everyday but He does promise to carry us through the storms.
From our beautiful chaos to yours it’s okay if life gets messy from time to time. We are not perfect. Our happiness will come from how we handle all of life’s little messes.