Thanksgiving Came Early this Year

Many will celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday this coming Thursday. If we were still back in our home state we would be rushing around trying to make time to get to all the family dinners, or at least to get some of us to most of them.  This year was different, as I know many of the holidays will be from now on.
There was no Macy’s Day Parade on the television as I prepared the turkey and the ham. There was no football game in the afternoon.  There were no store ads out on the table for my mom, my oldest daughter, and I to look though to see what “deals” we could score early on Black Friday. No, instead it looked as if it was a typical Saturday morning at our new home.   You see, with my husband’s new job he will only have Thursday off for Thanksgiving. So traveling with the five Littles to make it to everyone’s dinners and then back so he can go to work on Friday will not happen.  We decided to have dinner early here with the hopes that family and friends could come down and celebrate with us.   Plans we make don’t always workout the way you want them to however.
We had planned on our oldest son being here, my brother and his kids, our parents, a dear friend and her kids, and our daughter along with her boyfriend. As time got closer one by one they had things come up.  People got sick, the snow and wind where heading their way so they were afraid to travel, and other personal things came up all of which caused our dinner to shrink in size.  I started to realize being out of state now meant starting new traditions. I was upset and felt alone that everyone was cancelling but completely understood life happens and somethings you just can’t help.  As for my family if we were going to have dinner with my husband Saturday was still the day so plans continued.

On Friday our oldest daughter and her boyfriend showed up late in the evening. She decided to come after class instead of waiting till Saturday morning to drive down. She somehow always senses when I need her the most.  Just having her here made my weekend.  We spent a few minutes catching up and then we all called it a night.  Saturday I was awakened my excited little loves who were eager to see thier sissy.  I went downstairs and started preparing our dinner.  We spent to morning making pecan pie, Turkey, ham, mashpotatos, mamaw Smiths classic noodles, and all the fixings for a traditional family Thanksgiving. Sis and her boyfriend jumped right in to help. It was nice having them help. Seeing them together, young and in love, made me happy. I am happy she has found someone to make her smile again.  We cooked and then Lissa led us in prayer as we sat down to eat.  Looking around our table I could not help but be thankful.  The Littles were so happy their sissy was home and the made up with her boyfriend nicely. (Still not sure he knows what to think of our whole crew lol)  
There was no pro football Saturday only college games that we skipped through until my husband found a NASCAR race on the TV.  We enjoyed a relaxing evening at home in front of the fireplace.  Sunday we got up and headed to church where we were blessed with a service on Love.  We headed home and had lunch then my husband surprised me.  He knows I always put up our Christmas tree Thanksgiving day evening, we celebrate one holiday at a time here. And he knew that Sis would not be with us on Thursday.  He asked me to ask her to watch the kids for a few minutes. She agreed and we went into town.  Our Christmas tree that we have had for years did not survive last Christmas.  Our three little boys, love their hearts, thought they could climb it (in their minds it was a tree therefore it could be climbed……it could not)  My husband explained he knew I was bummed that our plans did not workout like we had hoped and he knew something that would cheer me up.  He wanted me to pick out our new Christmas tree.  He had been out a few days earlier and thought about getting one, but wanted me to find the perfect one for our new home.  We looked at many different ones.  Some with white lights, some with multi-colored lights, some round and full, some thin, some really tall and some really some.   We decided on a 7 and a half foot full tree with white lights.   I was happy.  The very idea my husband bought something Christmas related before December 1st is nothing short of a miracle. 

When we got home he done the unthinkable.  He told me we could go ahead and put the tree up.  He said seeing we had already had our Thanksgiving dinner and he knows our tree goes up Thanksgiving evening it was time.  Husband of the year award right there.   Sis got the ornaments ready while we put the tree together.  Then just as in years past our kids (with a little help from their sissy and mommy) decorated the tree.  Their faces were priceless.  The excitement in the house was delightful.  Having our daughter here to help out one more year was priceless. Not going to lie I shed a few happy tears. My heart was full. 
So this year, though different in many ways, was definitely wonderful.  We may not have had the parade on TV, or the football game, or everyone here, but thanks to my husband we where able to keep the tradition of decorating our tree and start a new tradition. We now have a book we all wrote in. The idea is simple all I asked was for everyone to write something they are thankful for.  Years down the road it will be fun to look back at the pages and revisit the things we are thankful for now.   Change is not always easy, more times than not we have to move past the pain and embrace the memories of what was and continue to move forward.  I was not sure how our first Thanksgiving would go being away from everyone.  I am truly thankful for our daughter and my husband for going above and beyond make sure we (especially me) had a great holiday.  I am so thankful for all they do for our family.  Did I miss my family and friends not being here, yes yes I did. I miss them daily.  Family is everything to me. However I know that the world does not revolve around me and that life happens and plans change.  New traditions are God’s way of saying life goes on.  Embrace the new and cherish the memories from years past.  We all have so much to be thankful for don’t waste time being miserable about things that are out of your control.  
From our beautiful chaos to yours embrace your family traditions both old and new.  Be thankful for the time giving to us to share these memories with our loved ones. Change is not always easy but it can be beautiful.


I Can’t Help…Sorry

Have you ever felt led to do something nice for someone?  Someone you don’t know?  Such as pay for someone’s food in a drive thru or pay for a strangers gas?  Have you ever “felt” like you were being told to give but then shrug it off because you know that  “someone else” will do the “right thing” and give? Let me share a little test of faith with you.

A few days ago I took the three youngest Littles to the store.  Nothing out of the ordinary, we were picking things up for this weekends Thanksgiving dinner we have planned.  While we were there looking at which gravy would taste the best a lady walked passed.  She too was looking at the gravy selection.  She shook her head and said ” I believe I can make it cheaper than that”  I laughed and made the comment ” I could make it but no one would eat it”  For those that know my cooking skills you can stop shaking your heads and laughing. Seriously you can stop laughing you know my cooking struggles lol. Anyway…. She then quickly shares her secret receipt on how to make your own gravy.  We start talking and I tell her I’m cooking this weekend for some of my family and how it’s our first holiday away from home. She tells me how she is planning a meal for a local seniors group.  We compare group sizes, mine 10 to 15, hers around 200 elderly people. Her small group feed the seniors every year who have no other family.  My heart sank.  She is in charge of picking up all the food and getting it to the center for preparation and will also be helping cook and serve it.  We chatted a few minutes and talked about the turkeys, she told me to wait till Wednesday to buy one because thats when they go on sale. She said Hi to the kids and off she went. That’s when I felt the first tug on my heart to give her money, but I ignored it.  Surely God knows our current situation and knows “there’s simply no way”  

The kids were very well behaved, for once, in the store while I continued gathering up all the goodies for the weekend.  As we shopped I could not help but think about all the people this woman and her small group were helping.  It brought a smile to my face.  Then our paths crossed again, this time next to the flour.   As I was picking up what I thought I needed she recommended a different one.  She said it made the best homemade biscuits. As we talked again, while I placed her recommend flour in my shopping buggie (shopping chart), I asked how long she had been helping out with the group she is with.  She said more than 15 years.  I asked if they got alot of donations from local stores or churches and she said that during the summer donations come in pretty often, but around the holidays most businesses and some churches donate to the food banks so she has to spend her funding wisely.  We again part ways and I felt the “tug” again.  So I start questioning myself.  I start thinking ” Lord you no we cant do this” “I can’t do this right now” “I am sure someone else will help out” I was having a nice long talk with myself standing by the bottled water.  I will admit I am a suckers for the people who stand by the exit ramps with their signs ” homeless please give”  I have watched the Dateline shows talking about how many of these people are running scams,  but still I give. So as the tug got louder and louder in my head and in my heart. I said Yes Lord, I hear you and went to look for her.  

The kids and I went up and down the aisles looking while I came up with a number I thought would satisfy the internal tug.  She was no where to be found.  I am embarrassed to say I felt relieved. I started thinking to myself, Maybe just thinking I should give was enough to satisfy God?  Me agreeing to look for her and give a little might have been enough to show Him “Yes Lord I will follow You” maybe…

That’s when I made the turn down the canned vegetable aisle, and guess who was standing there looking at the corn?   She looked up and smiled and waved at the kids again, by this time the boys were saying “mom it’s mamaw again”  I told her “This might sound crazy, but I think I’m suppose to give you money for the seniors”  She looked at me strangely. I explained that I felt God was telling me to give and that I could not ignore His Will. She broke down in tears and hugged me. She said that I was her angel God told her about. That she had been praying for a way to afford this year’s dinner, that’s why she was at the store picking up the on sale items and to find out when the other things would be going on sale.  I reach in my purse and found a few dollars and went to pull them out, then I felt God pull on my heart. I looked at the few dollars and put them back, and grabbed my checkbook.  I went to fill it out and as I did a different number than I had first thought popped in my head.  For a split second I thought “God there is simply no way I can’t justify that amount” But just as quickly as that negative thought crossed my mind a calming peace fell on me and I smile and wrote the check. 

I handed it to her and she started crying again. She started praying for me right on the middle of the aisle. The cashiers stared and other customers walked by quickly. I stood there and took it in.  She hugged the kids goodbye and as she walked off I could hear her say “I can’t believe this ,I can’t believe this” 

I checked out and went home.  Feeling good about myself but dealing with the “What if we need that this week” and “I wonder if she will really use it for the seniors or was she running a scam also” nagging going on in my head.  Jump forward to today.   I had ordered a few things for the kids for Christmas, and today for some reason a few of those things I ordered I found out would not happen.  At first I was furious that they were not coming in. I really had my heart set on these particular gifts and the idea my kids would not be getting them made me mad. However both companies agreed to full refunds on my purchases with the promise that the refunds will be in my account tomorrow. When I was adding up the amounts it totaled three times the amount I had given the lady.  God is good.  Was I upset about the gifts, yes. Did the kids really need the gifts, no.  Did the seniors need a hot meal prepared with love on Thanksgiving, yes.  My heart went from mad to glad just like that.   I went to the mailbox after I got off the phone with the second company and found this card.  

Now I don’t know if she will use the money for the dinner or not, but God does. All that matters is that God spoke to me and I listened. Was it easy, no. But I stepped out in faith that He would provide a way.  I do not share this to bring praises my way, But to show that God will always provide for those who step out in faith and follow His Will.  To God be the Glory, we are but simple servants.

Never be afraid to follow the path God lays out for you. It maybe as simple as giving a few dollars to a complete stranger for food or to become foster parents, or missionaries in a foreign country, or to buy toys for a needy child at Christmas.  Whatever God puts on your heart allow yourself to follow Him even if you don’t understand why. You will be blessed.
From our beautiful chaos to yours open your heart and allow God to speak to you. The journeys He will provide are are beautiful. 

Just Hold Me

This past week has been crazy.  Not one but four of our Littles had the stomach bug…ugh.   I have been puked on and pooped on more than I care to admit.  And to make things worse my husband was working 14 hour shifts.  It was a long week for all of us.

I hate when any of my kids are sick.  I try my best to be super mom but with that may sick at once it’s hard to do. I make sure they stay hydrated, make sure they get their medicine on time, read them their favorite stories, you know all the typical mom stuff. Sometimes I wish I had more hands.  By far their favorite (and mine) is the cuddle time.  That time when they climb up on my lap and I kiss their forhead and we just sit and rock. They love it when I sing them songs and hug them tight. In that moment that mommy kiss fixes everything from fevers to boo-boo’s. They feel better just by being in mommy’s arms.  Most of our Littles have out grown me rocking them to sleep, but when they feel bad that’s the first thing they want…and I’m okay with that. 

Over the weekend three of my little loves started feeling better. Baby girl however  is still feeling blah this morning. She’s not running a fever or throwing up anymore (thank goodness) but she just isn’t feeling back to normal yet. With all the kids sick last week my house was in need of some tlc this morning.  After I got two off to school and feed the other three their breakfast I started working on the mess.  Laundry in the washer, dishes in the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floors and then I started working on the kitchen.  Baby girl came walking in.  She looked up at me and started whimpering.  I made her a sippy cup of her favorite juice and handed it to her.  She took one drink and threw it down the hallway and started to cry.  I looked over at her and asked what was wrong, she of course could not answer being that she is only one.  I asked her if she wanted snacks, or if she wanted a bottle instead.  Nothing seemed to make her happy.  She started crying even harder. And in that moment in her eyes I could see what she was saying “Mommy just hold me”  I stopped what I was doing and picked her up, she immediately laid her head down on my shoulder and sighed really loud. We sat in the middle of my kitchen floor for over 30 minutes.  We rocked and I sang to her. She snuggled and and held on tight.  All she needed was for her mom to hold her and all her “feel bads” left.   House work will just have to wait another day.  Baby girl needs her mommy.

As I was holding her in that moment I could not help but think “I’ve been exactly where she is”  There have been  days I just could not find the strength to go one step further. Last week, for example, was one of those times. In the mist of all the sick kids and the husband out of town all I wanted to do was stand there and cry and have someone hold me.  And you know what? I got just that.  Just as baby girl cried out to me, I cried out to Jesus. I told him I was tired, that I was struggling, that I missed been around my family, and that I just needed to be held.  He answered, He always answers.  Just as I held baby girl and told her I was here for her, the peace of Jesus came over me.  I know I am never alone for He is always with me.  As I heard her cries, Jesus hears my cries. He sees my struggles, He knows what I am going through, He knows where my heart is, He knows my weakness and knows my failures and He Loves me anyway. And just as I stopped everything to hold my baby girl, Jesus took time to let me know He was still holding on to me. Thank you Jesus. As I stood there with tears running down my face on the radio the song “Just Breathe” came on and I knew God was telling me to calm down that He has everything under control even if I can’t see it.  

I am thankful for our little sit down in the kitchen floor this morning. It was a good reminder that just as parents hold their kids when they need it most, so does our heavenly Father. We may not be able to crawl upon His lap but His loving arms are always around us. Holding us, protecting us, and letting us know we will be okay for He will always be with us.  How beautifully amazing is that.
From our beautiful chaos to yours it’s important to take time to hold one another.  Some days we just need a hug to let us know we are not alone.

My Son’s Magical  Pajamas 

Most kids have a favorite toy or blanket they use to comfort them when they are upset or hurt. Stuffed animals and soft silky blankets can make all the wrongs of this world right again in the eyes of a child.  For my son it’s not a favorite toy or a blanket, it’s a pair of Disney’s Lightning McQueen pajamas. 

A few months before we moved one of his former preschool teachers, a friend of mine, stopped by my house for a visit with our wild man as she did from time to time.  She came baring gifts: toy trucks, balls, airplanes, shirts, and a few pairs of pajamas that had belonged to her boys but they had decided my boys could use them more.  My boys were in heaven.   

Up until that point wild man  never wore pajamas to bed.  He has many sensory issues and most days clothing and him don’t get along well. His wardrobe is limited very limited.  His teachers and I worked together to find clothes he could tolerate long enough for school. Usually his shoes and socks and even his shirt was off before we walk in the door of our home after school.  Weekends and evenings you could find him running around the house in a pull up only.  That is until he discovered his “magical pajamas” 

When Mrs Julie brought the boys their new treasures the boys were of course excited for the toys, my boys never get excited over clothes.  It wasn’t until later that evening when I was going through the clothes that wild man picked up the Disney Cars pj’s.  He held them up and looked at them and motioned for me to put them on him.  So I did.  He sat there feeling them, smelling them and hugging himself in them. And for the first time ever he went to bed and slept in pajamas.  The next day he came in from school ran to the dirty clothes and grabbed the pajamas out and put them on.  He has worn them everyday since.   As soon as he gets in from school his school clothes come off and his magical oh so comforting pajamas go on. 

The problem with wearing the same pajamas everyday is trying to keep them from wearing out.  Thankfully they were a little big for him when he got them so he has been able to wear then for a while. But a little while back I started to worry.  What happens if he out grows the pajamas?  What happens if they tear while he plays?  What happens if they simply wearout from being washed so often?   So I started looking for an extra pair or two in different sizes so he could have them as he grew.  That’s even I ran into a problem a big problem.  The pajamas had belonged to Mrs Julie’s son when he was small so they are about 8 years old.  They are no longer carried in stores.  So I started buying similar pj’s hoping they would work.  I’ve bought ones made from the same material, ones with Disney Cars characters,and ones that are the same color green……Nothing worked. Bad news for wild man but at least our younger boys are hooked up in the pajama department for years to come.  I don’t know what it is about these pajamas but they are the only ones he will wear.  So after a few months (and a few hundred dollars) of buying new pajamas I took to Facebook to enlisted the help of my friends on the search. Within a few hours I had several people looking for these pajamas.  I even sent an email to Disney asking if they had any that I was not looking for a hand out but that I was willing to pay for them if they had them.  They replied back with ” We are sorry but we no longer make these please follow the link to check out our new design”  I own the new design, it’s not what he needs.   I’ve looked in fabric shops for the material, I have a friend that said she could make him more if we could find it, no luck.  I checked Amazon and Esty no luck. Then I searched Ebay. And there I found….. one pair size 6.  So I bought them. I figure he could grow into them next year.  The real test would be would he wear them?  The day they came in I quickly washed them and took them to his room.  When he came in he ran up saw them and….. put them on!!!!  These are not from Mrs Julie but they are the same in every other way.  Why has he choose this particular pattern? This particular color? Who knows. But it’s what he likes. These pajamas give him a sense of security and comfort I can not explain. I am grateful that he has found that in something. I am grateful Mrs Julie gave them to him. I am thankful Ebay had one pair.  What will we do in a year or two when neither pair fit him? I honestly have no idea.  For now we will just wait and see what happens.  We adjust to what works for him. And for now it’s 8 year old Disney Cars  pajamas.

From our beautiful chaos to yours find and take comfort in the small things: an old shirt, the smell of a favorite perfume, wrap up in a blanket from a dear friend, or cuddle on the couch in your magical pajamas and just take in the joys of life. 

November 30 Things I am Thankful For

1. I am thankful for my children God has blessed me with

2. I am thankful for a hard working, God fearing husband that goes above and beyond to provide for his family

3. I am thankful for my parents who love me as I am and raised me to chase my dreams

4. I am thankful for my in laws who love me as their own

5. I am thankful my God gives us second, third and fourth chances in life

6. I am thankful for my brother and my amazing neice and nephew 

7. I am thankful for foster care, even though the system is broken sometimes

8. I am thankful for all the children who were placed in our home along our foster care to adoption journey. Everyone one of you ( 20 plus placements) have a forever piece of my heart.

9. I am thankful for adoption.  Our family has grown by five through this beautiful gift

10. I am thankful for great friends who understand our beautiful chaos 

11. I am thankful for our new home 

12. I am thankful for the simple but necessary things in life : water, food, shelter

13. I am thankful for my ever so large extended family: uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents 

14. I am thankful for early bedtimes and goodnight stories

15. I am thankful for the gift of today

16. I am thankful for growing up in the 80’s 

17. I am thankful for God’s promises to me 

18. I am thankful for our new church

19. I am thankful for those who accept our son (autism and all)

20. I am thankful for all of things that make us unique 

21. I am thankful for sunshine and rainbows

22. I am thankful for forhead kisses after a long day

23.  I am thankful for giggles and the occasional cry

24. I am thankful for phone calls and unexpected texts

25. I am thankful mountain air and ocean  breezes 

26. I am thankful I call pray whenever and wherever 

27. I am thankful for Sunday afternoon  football (GO PACK GO)

28. I am thankful for the kindness of strangers when I need another hand at the store to open the door

29. I am thankful to be an American 

30. I am thankful truly thankful for the life God has given to me.
What are you thankful for? 

It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows 

 Last night as I was feeding my baby girl I could not help but think of my oldest daughter when she was younger. As baby girl sat in her high chair discovering her new found favorite food (spaghetti) she was all smiles.  The spaghetti was covering everything from her face to her shirt. She was a hot mess but she was loving it and so was I.  When did I become that mom? 

When my oldest was her age that never would have happened.  She was my first child and I was young (19) and in my mind I had to prove I could be a great mom to all those that judged me.  Her hair was always in place and never would I have let her play with her food making such mess, after all no respectable mother would do that.  If she did happen to get food on her face and hands she was quickly cleaned up and her clothes changed. So why am I not that mom now?

I will tell you why.  Now I know that these moments will pass by all to quickly. It seems like only yesterday I was bringing our oldest home from the hospital when in fact she is now 21 and a senior in college. Life goes by so fast we need to enjoy the little things and that includes dirty spaghetti faces.  No one ever said life would be prefect or that it would not get messy.  It’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows some days are going to be stormy and messy. But that’s OK it’s part of life. I was a good mom then and I’m a good mom now, I’m just different.
One thing that annoys me about social media sites such as Facebook is all the fake illusions.  If you take time to look at other people’s pages you will see that   “life is alway prefect”  Meaning that every photo they post their kids are posed perfectly, their jobs are going great, they love their spouse, their kids love each other more than anything, ect. It’s enough to make some of us feel less than adequate.  I mean most days I’m over here cleaning dirt of of my son’s face, wanting to kill my husband for working over for the third night this week,  cleaning up bathrooms where my sons have “tried” to hit the toilet, dealing with my daughter who wants to argue her point on why the sky should be purple instead of blue,  and breaking up the latest of the sibling fist fights.  My life is far from perfect and seeing others lives so grand did at one time make me feel like a failure.  Don’t get me wrong I have been known to post the ever so sappy “I love my husband more than anything” post but I also show the not so get moments of life.  Like when one of my potty training three year olds told me he “had went number 2” all by himself and I got excited ran to the bathroom only to find his “gift” in my hallway floor.   Why?  Because my life is not perfect.  I don’t want other struggling moms to think they are alone.  Like I use to after reading my timeline.  We are all moms (and dads) trying our best. I don’t understand why we compare our situation with others but we do we always do.  I don’t want others to to see a fake me. What they see if what they get.  Twenty years ago I worried how others seen me and how they thought I was doing as a mom.  Now I don’t care. I know I’m a good mom. And thanks to my older two children I know that I will miss cleaning up dirty faces and messy handprints off the walls all to soon.  Thank you Sie and Bub. Thank you.

I am blessed God gave me a second chance to enjoy all the little things being a mom means.  I am more relaxed with my parenting style this go around (maybe because I am seriously out numbered lol). I love seeing my kids be kids.  Jumping in mud holes, food on their faces, and dirt on their hands. They are enjoying their lives and that makes me happy.  Our family photos do not have us all looking at the camera with big smiles instead my beautiful chaos is well…. chaos.  Kids are running around, someone is always crying, and the only person looking at the camera is normally me.  That to me is prefect.   

At church last Sunday our pastor talked about Faith and how our plan is not always God’s plan.  We may have our life planned out stage by stage but if it’s not part of God’s plan for us it will not workout the way we think it should.  I never planned on being a mom to seven kids but God did.  I never planned on having kids so far apart in age but God did.  I never planned on adopting five little loves or moving out of state but God did.  His plan for us is so much more than we could ever plan for ourselves. We must have faith and follow Him even if it seems life will get a little messy in our eyes.  He does not promise us sunshine everyday but He does promise to carry us through the storms.   

From our beautiful chaos to yours it’s okay if life gets messy from time to time. We are not perfect. Our happiness will come from how we handle all of life’s little messes.

I cheated today and I’m ok with it

I cheated today, no not on my husband, on my diet. One would think that having five Littles to ran after all day everyday would keep one in good shape. And I guess that should be the case but the sad truth is it doesn’t, not for me anyway. I have struggled with the way I look for years.  I know it’s a personal struggle but after years of mental and physical abuse for an ex  the words I heard over and over have made their lasting impression and it’s something I work on daily.  

Over the last few years I have gained a few extra pounds, okay more like 20, however in the last year it has really gotten to me. In this age of the social  media and selfies one starts to notice how they look in photos and this momma was not happy with what she saw.  I do chase the Littles all day long that is a fact, the problem is the way I eat and what I eat.  With five I find myself eating at odd hours in the day (and night) and let’s be honest it’s really easier, or at least faster, to grab a bag of salty chips as I am running out the door than it is to wash up and cut up fresh fruit.  And lets face it I’m not in my twenties anymore so what goes in finds a way to stick around. So I decided to **** Ugh go on a diet**** 

My weakness, Dr Pepper and doughnuts please don’t judge. I’m not much of a junk food eater but I love these two items way more than I should. However about two months ago I gave them both up in order to be healthier. I’ve been drinking only water and low calorie lemonade and not one doughnut has crossed my lips.  I have being doing great, the first few days my kids and husband would say different but now that I am past the caffeine headache withdrawals I can honestly say I was doing better, grouchy mom has left the building.   But today I failed. I failed big time at the drive thru.  I took my youngest three out for lunch and before I knew it I had ordered their chicken nugget meals and for myself…..a cheeseburger meal with Dr Pepper to drink. 😢 What was I thinking???   Truth is I wasn’t thinking. My darling boys were fighting over who farted the loudest, yes you read that correct I said farted the loudest.  What can I say life with boys is never dull, sometimes smelly but never dull.  The inside of my car smelled like a portapotty at a NASCAR race.  I was eager to roll my window down to order our food. And out of habit, or lack of oxygen to my brain, I ordered my old usual. That happens when your fanning the odor out of one’s car.  Now I was faced with the decision, eat and drink it and beat myself up over it later or throw perfectly good food away and my mom taught me not to waste food.  So guess what?? I ate it and it was wonderful.  Ok maybe not wonderful wonderful it was fast food after all, but it did make me do a happy dance.

The truth is, my kids don’t care if mommy is few pounds heavier and neither does my husband. So why should I worry so much?  They love me for me. When they look at me they only see a mom/ a wife that loves them, that always puts them first above anything else, that plays with them, that reads to them, that cooks for them, and that would do anything in the world for them.  I don’t want them to look back and say “Man all mom ever did was complain about how she looked” and I don’t want to set an example for them especially my girls that we have to look a certain way to be beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.  It does not matter what I look like as long as I am healthy and able to do what I need to do for them. 

So I will not beat myself up tonight or tomorrow for cheating on my diet. I will take it as it is and start over again tomorrow.  What we had for lunch today will not matter 10 years from now but what I plant in my kids hearts will last a lifetime time.

From our beautiful chaos to yours it’s ok to not be perfect. We all fail at something, its how you get back up that counts.